Happily Ever After
Updated: Feb 18, 2021
Finding Your Own Personal Path
I grew up with a stoic, no-frills lifestyle. Ballet was out of the question - “It makes you vain”. Barbie dolls were frowned upon. Instead, I played with LEGO. And a lot of sports. Not quite made of sugar and spice, and everything nice. Well, if I can’t be pretty, then at least I shall be smart and successful. Study hard. Get a good job. Work your way to the top.
At 15, I arrived in Singapore on the ASEAN scholarship. At 20, I won the JTC Corporation scholarship. At 23, I joined them as an Accountant and rose through the ranks on the “scholar track”. I met a boy, got married and bought my first property. I was 25. I am set for life. On the surface, my life looked like a fairytale ending. This is always where the story ends: And she lived happily ever after. But why doesn’t it feel great?
I grew up standing on the shoulders of giants. Under their wise guidance, I made huge progress very fast. I’ve arrived; but I wasn’t happy. I had a niggling feeling that there was something else I’m meant to do.
I had no clue what that “something else” was, but I knew this perfect life that I had worked so hard for - to set me up for life - was plainly just not it. The potential losses were clear, but the future was not. I was in a limbo.
I chose to bite the bullet. I broke up my marriage, becoming the first divorcee in my family’s entire history. I refused to play the yes-man to the CFO, unlike everyone else, and stuck out like a bad smell. I left the scholar track.
I dived into the wild unknown. I changed career 4 times. I did the entrepreneurship thing. I fell and hurt myself many times, but I learnt to get back up and become better.
Today, I’m an entrepreneur, leadership expert and writer. I live in a testosterone-driven home with the love of my life and 3 young dashing boys, co-creating our dream beach villa at the Tip of Borneo with the local Rungus community. Each loss felt like a failure. But in the pursuit of greatness, there are no failures; only lessons. Don't fear them.
When you’re young, you have wonderful mentors - people whom you admire - and you want to emulate them. But at some point in life, you have to turn around and find your own path. How do you know when you’ve found “it”? You’ll know - it’s pretty powerful stuff. Heaven opens and the light shines through. And you’re humbled because you’ve been called to a purpose greater than yourself: Oh, that’s why I’m put on Earth. That’s how you know - the feeling is magic.
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